then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize