I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
