dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
