I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
