More tranny stories later!
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
