...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
We left the knife in your bed.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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