im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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