And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
