new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
