I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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