Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize