And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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