so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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