You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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