So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
She just used a chaser for red wine.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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