we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
