How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
