How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
