So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
