Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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