then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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