He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
