wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
