Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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