Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
How does it feel to date your dad?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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