Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize