i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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