I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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