Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
