U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
