Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she peed on how many people?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
