The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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