my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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