I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Found your dick twin last night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
