SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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