Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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