I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
