You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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