I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
