So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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