i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
