you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Sober January is a disaster.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize