Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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