oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
