She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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