So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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