Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
