my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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