Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
