I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
