do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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