okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
