So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
