I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
