I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
