i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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