Christians are straight up FREAKS
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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