You really coming over, don't trick.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize