Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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