we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
