weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
