All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
