2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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