Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
