she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
