Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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