I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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