Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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