i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
