btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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