Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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